Be your own person

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Hello! I’m coming at you from the Amtrack today as I’m in route to Santa Barbara with my best friend.

I just wanted to share some things I’ve been thinking about lately. This post has been in my drafts for a week now. Here goes!

A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were at a concert together that he was really excited about. I wanted to go admittedly mostly because he wanted me to go. He said it would make him happy if I was there to enjoy one of his favorite musicians with him. Well, I ended up not having much fun, getting myself in a bad mood and being a grumpy munch. (Random Friends reference, anyone?)

Another day last month I was hanging out with my childhood best friend and let her pick the activities. Originally we had planned to go to a local chain restaurant with a bar, but then she suggested a new place and I said sure. It was a family style place and we ended up spending slightly more than I had planned. The food was okay, but not all that great. After lunch, we hung out at her house and watched some TV. She suggested we watch the show Mixology on Hulu. Within the first few minutes, I could tell it wasn’t my cup of tea, but I wanted to see the whole episode any way.

These experiences taught me a few things that I really should have leaned already.

First off, I can be a brat when I shouldn’t be. My best friends are great for putting up with me.

But also, sometimes I’m surprised that my friends and I have different tastes. I act surprised when they like something I don’t think is good. Or I’m almost hurt to find out they don’t like one of my favorite things, such as a favorite movie. How dumb is that? I know I’m not alone in this thinking though.

So, let me tell you something right here, right now.

You don’t have to like it.

It’s okay if you and your favorite people in the world don’t like all the same stuff.

My boyfriend and I have seen what happens when we try to force each other to watch movies we’re pretty sure the other wouldn’t like any way. Last week I mentioned that we both loved Chef, but we don’t always agree on movies.

I have been crazy about Runaway Bride since it first came out. I still totally love it. But when I had Paul watch it with me he practically fell asleep from boredom, so I spared him and turned it off. Yes, it’s a romantic comedy and he wasn’t impressed. I wasn’t surprised, just slightly disappointed. He asked me if I wanted to watch Trainspotting with him one time and I said yes despite his warning that it is a little odd and graphic. About half an hour in I was crying and told him I couldn’t take it.

The thing is, relationships aren’t dependent on similarities. Thankfully! It would be so boring if they were.

One of my cousins was telling me recently about how one of her husband’s friends announced on Facebook that he would unfriend whoever disagreed with him on a certain topic. The reason being this topic has to do with his job and industry. I’m being vague because that’s her business, but I hope you get the general idea.

I’ve been thinking about friendship, relationships, likes, dislikes and compromise lately in relation to my own life.

I told my boyfriend I’ll let him know when I don’t want to go to a concert instead of blindly going to everyone. If my friends bring up a place for lunch, I know I don’t have to instantly say yes, but consider what we both want.

We should be happy to find out about new music, restaurants and TV shows because of our friends. It’s fun to experience new things together.

You don’t have to agree all the time.

(But you don’t have to be a brat either.)

After all, I love my boyfriend because he’s awesome and my best friend because she’s special. I don’t like them because of what they like.

You’re a unique, wonderful, weird person and your choices are your own.

Maybe this is all obvious and I’m really just reminding myself. You can like what you like it. Let other people like what they like, provided it’s not harmful.

As my oldest sister says, “Be your own person.”

I would love to hear what you have to say. Leave me a comment and I'll try to write back soon.

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