Sometimes I wonder when I will feel like a real adult. Is that even a thing? I wonder if that’s something that only young people care about or only people born since the 80s or something like that.
There are certain things I haven’t done yet that make me feel like less of an adult and more of a young adult. I try not to hold them against myself. I’m trying to be nicer to myself. It’s almost funny because most of these things are not requirements for being an adult. Nothing is really, except for maybe age. I’m past 18. I’m past 21 actually. I just turned 23 on Sunday.
I feel like lately I’ve been complaining too much on this blog, so I’m trying not to do that. But I feel like I need to write about why I don’t yet feel like an adult and then decidedly tell myself how stupid that entire notion is.
So here are my reasons and counterarguments:
I don’t have a car, for one. I had one for a few months and then totaled it in a car accident on the freeway. That was two years ago. I had liability only insurance at the time and couldn’t afford another car. So I don’t drive much. I take buses or other people drive me. I’ve been saving up and I can afford a used car, so I should be driving any time now.
Counter argument: Not all adults drive. I live in Southern California, where it seems very necessary, but there are also adults here who don’t drive and that doesn’t make them less.
I don’t have a full-time job.
Counterargument: This isn’t a good reason. I’m 23. I haven’t graduated college quite yet. It’s okay.
I haven’t graduated college.
Counterargument: I may be in my fifth year, but that’s normal at my school. I’ll graduate soon, but that shouldn’t make a difference. Not everyone graduates college and that doesn’t mean they’re not adults. I would never think that of anyone else, so why myself?
I live with my mom (and sister and aunt).
Life happens. I can’t afford to move out right now. That’s not a big deal at all. Actually, I don’t even know why I wrote this as a reason.
Okay, so I feel the strongest about the car thing actually. The others are ridiculous and definitely bad reasons to not feel like an adult. I do want to get a car, graduate college, get a full-time job and move out. But until then, I’m not not an adult because I haven’t obtained those things.
Mostly, I feel like I’m in an in-between stage in my life. Those keep coming up in life, no matter how old a person is. Good things happen, bad things happen and that’s just life, no matter how old you are. It’s continuous. Change is good any way. Without it life would be boring. I’m a bit of realist so I don’t see change as necessarily good or bad, but closer to good and bad.
If you happen to be like me and feel like less of a grown up for any of these reasons, just brush it off. NBD. You’re an adult if you want to be. And also if you’re over 18. Sorry youngins, just enjoy your life and call it something else.
Well, I better clean my room, write emails, pay my bills and get some other stuff done before the day slips away. I may even ride my bike around on this overcast day.
In other news, I wrote a story for The Le Sigh (my first one!) on this new comic, MiSSiLE, by Ashley Loftin and Kelly Thomas. It was a great adventure. I interviewed the women over Skype. I had never interviewed any one over Skype before! They talked to me about their comic and how it’s already gaining recognition. It’s very relatable. Go check out the story and their Tumblr, pretty please.
P.S. Last thing! The photo above was taken last week. Rain more please, L.A. sky.
4 thoughts on “What is an adult any way?”
I still don’t feel like an adult sometimes, even though I’m almost 28 and married. But I also felt like an old lady when I was 21, so whatever, I guess. I think everyone feels like that sometimes!
How funny! Yeah, I guess everyone does.
There will always be time when you’ll feel youthful and times when you’ll feel more mature – health wise, I feel very old or “mature” but im working on that and have my reasons. Mentally and emotionally also very mature for my age but I’ve had that told to me since I was in Elementary school so no bigs for me. I felt the most un-adultlike when my son and myself were living with family because I felt like I couldn’t provide. It took some time to find the right job and earn enough to move out – even now I live with my boyfriend and he’s just great. You learn to live however you can and do what you can. A car is representative of sense of freedom in this country so that’s probably why it affects you. I had the same issue since I live in Northern Virginia and things aren’t close by, especially jobs. :) Be happy its Friday and hope your birthday was lovely Erin! -Iva
Wow, Iva you always know what to say. Thank you. I got told that I was mature for my age when I was young too. Another thing is sometimes I’ve compared myself to people older than me and that’s not fair. It’s exactly true what you said- You learn to live however you and and do what you can do.